Are you dating someone new? Could he be a serial cheater? Before you start imagining your future together, it’s important to look for the signs of whether a relationship can work or not. The most important indicators of relationship failure are those of cheating.
Whether you are a man or a woman, if you identify with at least two of the seven signs, you may not realize that you have the potential to be unfaithful. If you are a cheater and you don’t want to be, pay attention to the following list. If you answer yes to most of the seven signs, find a counselor. You can stop being a victim of your thoughts, role models, and old habits if you want to.
Here are seven signs of a serial cheater:
1. Cheaters love danger.
Cheaters love racing fast cars, jumping out of planes, or trying to pull teeth out of a live shark. Dangerous activities give him an adrenaline rush. All of life is a conquest including desirable women. Part of the adventure in being a cheater is not to get caught. He likes to live dangerously, however, get caught sometimes, and then test his ability to make up a believable lie.
2. His friends cheat.
Cheating isn’t wrong in his world, because in his mind, everyone cheats. He is surrounded by people who act and feel the way he does. They share stories of how to be more successful in their cheating adventures.
3. A cheater hangs out with lots of females.
A cheater keeps old girlfriends on the string and considers them his best friends. He may still be helping them financially. He likes being with women and needs their attention. Long after he says an old romance is over, they may still have their intimate moments. He doesn’t consider this cheating on his current girlfriend because, in his mind, this is just a friend.
4. Close family members were cheaters.
Cheaters run in families. One or both of his parents were unfaithful when they were in a committed relationship. He may also be close to uncles, cousins, brothers, and grandfathers who had romances outside of their marriages. His important role models did not honor fidelity. He may have even been put in a place where he had to lie for them to cover up what they were doing. This has led him to believe that there is actually nothing wrong with cheating.
5. A cheater thinks he is more desirable than most men because he has so many women in love with him.
A cheater is a master at choosing needy girls and making each one feel she is the one he loves. If she is emotionally vulnerable, financially desperate, and has a weak sense of self, she believes him. His self-esteem and emotional survival are based on having multiple women declare their unconditional love. He thinks of himself as a maverick and a rule breaker, and having only one girlfriend is for “other” people. In the love department, he sees himself as being superior. Detached, yet emotionally demanding, he checks in with each girl often and on a regular basis.
6. He has a history of cheating.
Will your date be a cheater? If you want to know if he will be faithful to you, ask him if he’s ever cheated, ask his friends about his former relationships, and pay attention to his past. If he has cheated more than once on his former wife or girlfriend, he will probably cheat on you.
7. Cheaters have been around the dating/mating game a long time.
A cheater has a great deal of experience with women. To say that his conquests number in the dozens, if not higher, is probably too modest. Before he met you, you can count on the fact that he has repeated his pattern of seduction many times.
If you don’t want to date a cheater, notice if you are attracted to men with this profile. If so, search your history to see what makes this behavior tolerable to you. Do you identify with any of the above descriptions? Did you suffer from abuse in the past? Do you have some self-destructive habits that keep you from being proud of yourself? Are you financially strapped and don’t know where to turn? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are vulnerable to dating or having a relationship with a cheater.
Yet…there is hope for cheaters or victims of cheaters. You can choose to change your patterns today. No one says this life is written in cement. By finding the help you need, you can create a life you love. Remember–you deserve it!