Not all marriages are made in heaven. A marriage in order to be a happy one takes a considerable amount of work from the side of both the couples. There are many couples who stay glued to their miserable and unhappy marriages for various reasons. While there are people who get divorced even if there are chances to save the marriage because it is the easy way out many couples tend to stick to their marriages even if they are miserable and not happy with their relationship. Given are top 10 wrong reasons to stay married.
1) Staying Married for Children: Many couples are obligated to stay married even if they are in a loveless marriage because they think that a Divorce can affect the children adversely and 2 parents is better than one. Even if they have fallen out of love with their spouse most parents prefer to suffer instead and not part ways as they love their kids and would not want to cause any harm to them. But what they forget is that their frequent fights, behavior with each other and other indifferences can affect the kids too. Just because you have children does not mean that you should suffer miserably in a relationship you don’t want to be in. Moreover, by staying together in an unhappy marriage you are teaching your kids that when they get married even if things go wrong they should not go for a divorce but prefer to suffer in the relationship. Think again, is that the example you wish to set for your children?
2) Staying Married for Financial Security: Money is a great motivator when it comes to staying in miserable marriages.Mostly Woman tends to stay in such marriages because of the comforts and perks they get in the husbands house. The same applies for a man who survives mostly on his wife’s income. But one thing they forget is that no amount of money can buy love or happiness. Staying together for money is one of the stupidest things anyone can do!
3) Staying Married because of Guilt: Many men and women stay in marriages because they feel guilty that they have ruined the other person’s life, especially in love marriages. Even if they have fallen out of love with their spouse or fallen in love with someone else they prefer not to let their spouse know about it by staying married. What they forget is that they are being unfaithful and only troubling themselves and not doing their spouses any favors by keeping them in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love them anymore.
4) Staying Married to prove that their choice was right: This happens mostly with couples who have opted for love marriages against the wishes of their parents. When things turn sour they keep the pretence of a happy marriage in front of others to prove that their choice was not wrong and that they are happy with their choices. What they are forgetting is that they are only causing more pain to themselves by doing so.
5) Staying Married to Honor the Vows: Many couples stay in unhappy marriages because they are made to believe that marriage is forever. It would not be wrong to say that there are many who stay glued to their Marriages because of the marriage vows that marriage is a life time commitment and they are married for better or worse. Staying with someone you don’t want to be with because it’s expected of you by your religion or community would only make you to suffer more pain and grief.
6) Staying Married because of low self esteem and loneliness: Many times low self esteem can prevent people from taking the right decisions. You can’t blame them because they do not know their worth and do not realize that they can do better. Many men and women with low self esteem even lose hope that they could be happy at all.Women especially tend to find emotional security in their marriages. Even when the marriage show signs of an unhappy marriage there are many people who do not opt out as they are lonely and have no parents or friends to turn to. They find security in their marriage and would not want to step out of their comfort zone even if they are unhappy.
7) Staying Married because they do not want to be like their Parents: Many Children who have suffered the effects of Divorce of parents stay glued to their marriages because they do not want their children to suffer the way they did or want to be like their own parents.
8) Been forced to stay together: Many times couples are forced to stay together in marriage because of society pressures and pressures of family or relatives who are worried about their reputation than the feelings of the couples who are miserable and suffering the effects of an unhappy marriage. Remember that you are the one who is suffering and you have the right to rectify the condition.
9) Staying Married for Property or Assets: Many times, the couple would have build together houses, purchased property or build business together which they are both attached to and would not want to give up for any reason.
10) Staying Married is less expensive: Some Men feel that staying married is less expensive than getting a Divorce especially if they have to shell out huge alimony settlement for opting out.
I feel that all the above reasons are bad enough. I have personally witnessed some of my friends who were divorced from their miserable first marriages find a very contented and happy second marriage. So, if you are in a marriage for wrong reasons, think again. Is it really worth to be in an unhappy marriage?